I’m tired. Tired of the pressure, the sadness, the constant thought of not being good enough. Tired of the fighting and the fears. Why is it so hard to just be? Why do I always feel like I have to do things? Why can’t I only do things when I want to do things? Why do I feel less alive when I do less? Why do I have the feeling that I have to fight for the right to exist? That I have to prove that I’m worth a functioning heart and breathing air? Why do I feel more alive when I feel the weight of clothing ? Do I need to be aware of my body to be alive ?